WHO WRITES THIS STUFF, BERNARD ZUEL?

I READ IN THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD , METRO SECTION TODAY,
"ANCIENT KIWI DRUMMER AND SONGWRITER MAX MERRITT AND HIS BAND THE METEORS WILL BE SLIPPING AWAY AT PENRITH RSL ON JUNE 11," . NOW, EVEN BLOODY MAX MERRITT IS A DRUMMER!!!
ALSO, ON THE SAME PAGE, CONCERNING MY DECEASED NAMESAKE, DAVE ALLEN THE IRISH COMEDIAN, THEY ALMOST MADE AMENDS WITH THE FOLLOWING; DAVE WAS IN THE AUDIENCE AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE. A TRENDY YOUNG COMEDIAN WAS GETTING NOWHERE AND RESORTED TO TALKING TO THE AUDIENCE IN A "AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME" WAY. HE DIDN'T RECOGNISE ALLEN, SO HE SAID, "AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME SIR?" IN A PATRONISING VOICE. ALLEN REPLIED:
"DAVE ALLEN". THE AUDIENCE SUCKED IN A COLLECTIVE BREATH. THE CLUELESS COMEDIAN SAID, "AND WHAT DO YOU DO SIR?" ALLEN SAID; "I'M A COMEDIAN. WHAT DO YOU DO?"