Friday, May 29, 2009

ANTHONY "THE MAN" MODESTY IS MY MIDDLE NAME MUNDINE




HE SAYS HE'S THE GREATEST ATHLETE THAT EVER LIVED, AND ASKS WHAT HE HAS TO DO TO GET THE PUBLIC'S RESPECT. I THINK HE ANSWERED HIS OWN QUESTION.

TINKERBELL'S FAIRYDUST


MY OLD MATE STEVE MAHER LIVES DOWN THE ROAD FROM ME, AND LIKE ME, STARTED PLAYING IN BANDS BACK IN THE 60'S. HE WAS CONTACTED RECENTLY BY A COMPANY IN ENGLAND WHO WANT TO RE-RELEASE THEIR OLD ALBUM. SO, STEVE HAS PUT TOGETHER A GREAT WEBSITE OUTLINING THE HISTORY OF "TINKERBELL'S FAIRYDUST". TAKE A LOOK HERE. http://tinkerbellsfairydust.com

Thursday, May 14, 2009

RUGBY LEAGUE SEX NIGHTS

I MUST SAY, I WAS AMAZED TO READ TODAY.A STORY FROM A PROMINENT SENIOR PLAYER WHO SAID THAT GROUP SEX WAS A NORMAL FRIDAY NIGHT THING AT THE CLUB. WHAT, ALONG WITH CARPET BOWLS AND 20 BUCKS IN THE POKIES? HAVE I MISSED SOMETHING HERE?
OK, I'M OLD, BUT I PLAYED FOOTBALL ONCE, WE'D GET PISSED ON FRIDAY NIGHT, HARASS THE LOCAL PIZZA SHOP AND BAT ON OR GO HOME.
I CAN RECALL NIGHTS OF DEBAUCHERY BY SOME AT EXPENSIVE BORDELLOS. I CAN REMEMBER ALL MANNER OF CRAZY STUNTS, FEEDING OUR DOGS AT THE LOCAL CHEW AND SPEW, DIVING OFF FERRIES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HARBOUR, THROWING POKER MACHINES INTO THE HARBOUR, EATING FOOD UNDER THE TABLE AT EXCLUSIVE RESTAURANTS, EATING THE BOW TIE OF A BOUNCER, (I DID THAT) I'M ASHAMED TO SAY, EATING THE FLOWERS ON A RESTAURANT TABLE IF THE SERVICE WAS SLOW, (I DID THAT TOO), BUT, GROUP SEX WITH ONE GIRL? WITH ALL YOUR TEAM MATES THERE, MASTURBATING? WHO ARE THESE RUGBY LEAGUE PLAYERS THESE DAYS? THEY SOUND LIKE A SICK BUNCH OF WEIRDOS. I'M SORRY FOR THE GIRL IN NZ WHO HAS COME OUT ABOUT THIS BUSINESS IN NEW ZEALAND WITH MATTHEW JOHNS AND THE CRONULLA TEAM SEVERAL YEARS AGO. I HAVE HEARD SIMILAR STORIES FOR DECADES. IT IS TIME FOR YOUNG FOOTBALLERS TO TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THEMSELVES. THINK ABOUT THEIR SISTERS, MOTHERS, GIRLFRIENDS, WIVES, THINK, IS THIS HOW I SHOULD ACT?
YOU KNOW, THE OLD DAYS, WHEN FOOTBALLERS GOT PAID A COUPLE OF HUNDRED FOR A WIN AND SIXTY FOR A LOSS WERE GREAT DAYS.
PLAYERS HAD FULL TIME JOBS AND TRAINED 2 NIGHTS A WEEK. I LOVED SEEING THEM GET WORN OUT AFTER 80 MINUTES OF HARD GRAFT. THE LAZY BASTARDS THESE DAYS ARE REPLACED EVERY TIME THEY LOOK A BIT TIRED. MUST BE TOO MUCH FRIDAY NIGHT GROUP SEX!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

SWINE FLU HITS AUSTRALIA!!!!!

THE HEADLINE ALL THE PANIC MERCHANTS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!
A WOMAN ARRIVED AT BRISBANE AIRPORT YESTERDAY AND WAS FOUND TO HAVE HAD SWINE FLU, BUT IS NOW PRETTY MUCH OVER IT. SHE WASN'T DEAD OR ANYTHING, JUST OVER IT, AND SO AM I.

LILY OH LILY


Victoria Beckham sickening: Lily Allen
May 8, 2009
"Monster" ... Victoria Beckham.

"Monster" ... Victoria Beckham.

Lily Allen has branded Victoria Beckham a "monster".

The Not Fair singer - renowned for her harsh opinions on fellow celebrities - has launched a vicious verbal attack on the former Spice Girl and her soccer star husband David, insisting she has no desire to replicate their lavish lifestyle.

She told French soccer magazine SoFoot: "The Beckhams are sickening.

Everyone knows Victoria is a monster. I'd rather shoot myself between the eyes than be a WAG."

A WAG is the term for a partner of a professional soccer player. Victoria is one of England's highest-profile WAGs because of David's long-running involvement with the national team.

Lily also slammed Victoria's fellow WAG Cheryl Cole and the Girls Aloud singer's husband Ashley.

She ranted: "She is just a b***h. She represents everything I hate. She is stupid, superficial and as ugly outside as inside.

"Ashley is the worst. He just disgusts me. He jumps at everything that moves. I am not criticising him just to criticise, but I have met him several times. He is revolting."

Last year, Ashley was accused of cheating on Cheryl but the brunette beauty forgave him and the couple are trying to move forward with their marriage.

This is not the first Lily has clashed with Cheryl.

The Smile hitmaker was furious when Cheryl branded her a "chick with a d**k" so responded on her blog, saying: "I must say taking your clothes off, doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying, your mother must be so proud, stupid b***h."

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

REVERSE DRIVING AND LIGHT BULB EATING IN INDIA

THIS IS A COUNTRY THAT AIMS TO BE A 21ST CENTURY WORLD POWER, BUT IS FULL OF PEOPLE LIKE THIS! I WANT TO LIVE THERE.

Reverse driving, eating glass among unusual hobbies found in India
By Channel NewsAsia's India Correspondent Vaibhav Varma | Posted: 21 January 2007 2356 hrs

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INDIA : Many people count driving cars and eating delicacies as among their hobbies.

In India though, there are those who take these pursuits a step further.

Harpreet Pappu is a well-known personality in Bhatinda, Punjab.

He has mastered the art of "reverse" driving.

Pappu says he acquired this unusual skill to make a statement about India's political system.

"The entire system is topsy-turvy so I have to be the same. If people ask me why I drive backwards all the time, I tell them that they have the wrong perspective," says reverse driver Harpreet Pappu.

The former bus driver has logged some 150,000 kilometres of reverse driving.

And it was mere chance, he says, that led him to nurture this rare talent of his.

"I dropped off some passengers and backed up the car. The lever got stuck in reverse gear and I couldn't release it. I didn't have any money on me so I drove home in reverse for 50 to 60 kilometres. That incident inspired me and gave me the confidence to drive backwards," explains the reverse driver.

Glass eater Kishan Das Suryavanshi wants to make a living out of his unusual diet.

The resident of Chhatisgarh in central India crunches a glass bottle every alternate day.

He has even tasted light bulbs and spectacles, and says he enjoys the awestruck audience that gathers to watch him.

"I used to work as a driver for a school. I've bitten and chewed on glass bottles for 15 years. I started doing this because it was interesting and now it's become a habit," says glass eater Kishan Das Suryavanshi.

Suryavanshi is ambitious; he has set his sights on eating the windscreen of a supersonic aircraft.

Unique, quirky or strange - for these Indians, the pursuit may not be practical but nothing will deter them from spending time, money and sweat on it. - CNA /ls

Saturday, May 02, 2009

AUSTRALIA'S FIRST SWINE FLU VICTIM




THIS POOR MAN IS AUSTRALIA'S FIRST VICTIM, AND IS ALREADY SHOWING SIGNS OF A PIGGY NOSE. IT IS MY UNDERSTANDING HE CAUGHT IT FROM HAVING HIS SNOUT IN THE TROUGH FAR TOO LONG.


YOU MAY ALSO NOTICE THE BEGINNINGS OF PIGGY LITTLE EYES AND EARS.
JOHN HEWSON SAW THE SIGNS WEEKS AGO, TRIED TO WARN US, BUT NO ONE LISTENED!

I'VE GOT MY SWINE FLU MASK AND I'M READY.

AS HYSTERIA BUILDS THIS WEEK ABOUT THE NEXT BIG THING TO KILL US ALL, I HAVE TAKEN THE IMPORTANT STEPS OF IDENTIFYING NEIGHBOURS WHO ARE STOCKPILING FOOD AND DRINK, AS SUGGESTED BE DONE BY THE GOVERNMENT, WHICH IS REALLY JUST AN ATTEMPT TO BOOST RETAIL SALES BY GETTING PEOPLE TO SPEND THEIR STIMULUS PACKAGE, SO I WILL KNOW WHERE TO EAT, AND I BOUGHT A FACE MASK TO PROTECT ME.
AMONG SOME OF THE MORE INSANE THINGS DONE AND SAID, THE INDONESIAN MINISTER FOR HEALTH ANNOUNCED THAT INDONESIANS WOULD BE SAFE BECAUSE IT REALLY ONLY HAD TO DO WITH PEOPLE WITH SPANISH BLOOD!!!???, AND IN EGYPT, THERE WERE MASS SLAUGHTERINGS OF PIGS TO SHOW THE PEOPLE THE GOVERNMENT WAS ACTING.