CHER AT THE OSCARS

CHER AT TODAY'S OSCARS, AND A FAVOURITE RECORD COVER BELOW. I WONDER WHAT SHE WEARS TO THE SHOPS?

AUSTRALIAN FIRES

WE HAVE BEEN PREOCCUPIED LATELY WITH THE HORRIBLE FIRES THAT HAVE SWEPT THROUGH THE COUNTRY'S SOUTH EAST. SOME OVERSEAS READERS HAVE ASKED IF THEY CAN MAKE DONATIONS TO HELP THE VICTIMS. YES! BEST THROUGH THE AUSTRALIAN RED CROSS www.redcross.org.au

LIZA LEE COMING TO AUSTRALIA!

I HOPE THIS HAPPENS, LIZA HAS TOLD ME SHE WOULD LIKE TO COME TO AUSTRALIA AND RECORD WITH ME AT THE NEW BURNING MOUNTAIN STUDIO THIS TIME NEXT YEAR. WHAT A GREAT CELEBRATION FOR THE OPENING OF THE STUDIO.


THIS IS LIZA'S NEXT ALBUM TO BE RELEASED, "HOUSES OF DETENTION".

IT WAS A SLOW NEWS WEEK.

UP UNTIL LIZA LEE ANNOUNCED SHE WAS GOING TO COME TO AUSTRALIA AND DO SOME RECORDING WITH ME AT THE NEW BURNING MOUNTAIN STUDIO, THERE WAS NOT MUCH HAPPENING THIS WEEK, SO HERE IS A FILLER ARTICLE ABOUT THE FAMOUS RETRO ROCKERS, "THE HERBERTS" RECENT REHEARSAL IN SYDNEY FOLLOWING THEIR BLOCKBUSTER BALI TOUR. GLAM BASSIST, H.HERBERT ABOVE, GIVES A GIBSON BASS A WORKOVER, AND TOP, SPECIAL K HERBERT, WEARING CAP, HITS THE SKINS.

LIZA LEE LANCHES HER NEW CD, ANIMA THIS WEEK.

MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND LIZA LEE IS A NEW YORK BASED SINGER WHO THIS WEEK RELEASED HER NEW JAZZ ALBUM, ANIMA. LIZA SINGS POP AND JAZZ STYLES, WRITES FABULOUS SONGS AND WORKS WITH THE BEST MUSICIANS. YOU CAN FIND HER MUSIC HERE. http://cdbaby.com/cd/lizaleemusic
DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND BUY IT, YOU WILL BE HELPING THE SOCIETY FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH RESEARCH INTO THE BARGAIN.

KYLIE WIGGLES FOR ME

Kylie teams up with The Wiggles

New Wiggle ... Kylie Minogue.
Photo: Getty Images

Kylie Minogue has recorded a duet with children's group The Wiggles for their new album.

Minogue, 40, said she hoped the song would impress her two-year-old nephew Charles, son of her cameraman brother Brendan.

"Now Charles really will think I'm cool," she told The Sun.

"I hope he likes the song. It was fun to do.

"I might even grab a shirt and go on tour with the boys. I'm not sure what colour I will be."

The new track will appear on The Wiggles' new album, The Wiggles Go Bananas.

They have also recorded songs with Leo Sayer and Rolf Harris.

AAP

GOOD LUCK MR PRESIDENT

ON THIS DAY BARACK OBAMA BECOMES PRESIDENT AND LIZA LEE LEAVES SELLABAND. IS THERE A CONNECTION, IS THAT REALLY MICHELLE DANCING WITH THE BOSS?

WHO'S BITCH WILL HE BE?

BOY GEORGE HAS BEEN JAILED FOR HANDCUFFING A MALE ESCORT TO HIS BED AND LASHING HIM WITH A CHAIN. DON'T KNOW ABOUT CULTURE CLUB, BUT IT SURE WILL BE A CULTURE SHOCK, ESPECIALLY FOR FELLOW PRISONERS!

MUSIC TO SLASH YOUR WRISTS BY

I THINK IT IS VERY APT THAT LEONARD COHEN, WHO HAS BEEN ON A WORLD TOUR SINCE LAST SEPTEMBER, AND COMING SOON TO AUSTRALIA HAS COORDINATED HIS TOUR WITH THE WORLD WIDE FINANCIAL DEPRESSION. IT MAY WELL BE, THAT COHEN'S DOWNBEAT DITTIES HAVE CAUSED THIS GLOOM THAT ENGULFS THE WORLD.

ELVIS LIVES IN PARKES

I'VE ALWAYS GOT A LAUGH FROM THE ULTRA TACKY ELVIS IMPERSONATORS THAT POP UP FROM TIME TO TIME. WHEN I LIVED IN SINGAPORE YEARS AGO, THEY HAD AN ELVIS LOOKALIKE COMPETITION EACH YEAR, WHICH WAS HYSTERICAL. DOZENS OF PUNY CHINESE GUYS DOING ELVIS IS SURREAL. SINGAPORE'S "OWN" ELVIS, THE USUAL WINNER, WAS A LARGE INDIAN GUY IN THE REGULATION JUMP SUIT; VERY CONVINCING! IN AUSTRALIA, WE HAVE AN ANNUAL ELVIS FESTIVAL AT THIS TIME EACH YEAR, IN THE COUNTRY TOWN OF PARKES.

JUSTICE AT LAST FOR GAY WAR WIDOWER

AT LAST, AFTER THE AWFUL HOWARD REGIME SOME SOCIAL JUSTICE IS RETURNING TO AUSTRALIA.

Edward Young has finally proved he is entitled to a war pension, writes Jonathan Dart.

Every so often, Edward Young sits on the couch in his apartment and closes his eyes. "And then I just pretend I'm not here any more," he says.

It has been 10 years since his partner, Larry Cains, died. They met in London in 1960 - he, a model, was introduced to Mr Cains, a photographer who had served with the Australian Army in Borneo during World War II.

"He was desperately handsome," Mr Young said. "We spent two weeks together and I told him I wanted to spend my life with him."

Now, after a decade of fighting to have the law recognise his and Mr Cains's love as equal, the Sydneysider will soon become the country's first recognised gay war widower.

Laws passed in November mean that partners in gay relationships with serving and retired soldiers will, for the first time, be allowed to claim pensions - opening the door for the so-called "forgotten people" of our military heritage and allowing for more people to make claims that must be paid out.

(extracted from the Sydney Morning Herald)

WOULD YOU SWAP A PIECE OF PITA BREAD THAT LOOKS LIKE JESUS FOR A SACK OF ONIONS THAT LOOK LIKE MADONNA?

A New Zealander is auctioning off a piece of toasted pita bread which looks like Jesus Christ.

The TradeMe online auction shows a photo of the pita bread, which broke into pieces after being put in the oven. One piece, the seller says, resembled the face of Jesus.

"I was tempted to eat it but for some reason I didn't," the seller says in their auction listing.

"I guess what you all want to know is whether it's a coincidence or real apparition. I'm not really sure."

The pita bread piece which measures about 4cm x 3.5cm has no reserve price. The auction ends January 8.

At the time of publication, there were ten bids with leading bid now standing at $NZ21.

The seller turned down an offer from one interested party to swap the pita bread for "a sack of onions that looks like Madonna".

A stone with an image resembling the Virgin Mary was put up for auction on TradeMe last year.

stuff.co.nz and smh.com.au

PERSONALLY, I THINK IT LOOKS MORE LIKE BOB MARLEY, BUT I'M PRONE TO BURNING MY TOAST.

MALAYSIA NEVER FAILS ME.

THIS IS A NEWS ARTICLE FROM AFP.

Nude New Year's 'sex party' a con, warn Malaysian authorities

December 31, 2008 - 11:05AM

Malaysian authorities have condemned rumoured plans for a New Year's Eve sex party at a remote beach, while police warned the "no-underwear" event could be a con job.

Newspaper reports said the party for the under-40s, to be held in southern Johor state bordering Singapore, was being advertised through a website that asked for 250 ringgit (A$104) as an entrance fee.

"A sex party is against our culture and religion and if it went on, it would damage the country's reputation worldwide," Tourism Minister Azalina Othman said according to the New Straits Times newspaper on Tuesday.

"There are other events organised to usher the New Year which are hip, fun and suitable to our culture."

Party organisers had reportedly said that male guests were banned from wearing briefs to the event, while women were only permitted to wear G-string underwear which had to be removed after midnight.

Johor criminal investigation department chief Amer Awal warned that the sex party was likely to be a fraud designed to cheat potential partygoers out of the ticket price.

"The idea of organising such a party is far-fetched but the state Religious Department and local councils have all been informed," he told the New Straits Times, adding that authorities would be on alert.

AFP

WHAT WOMEN WANT

IN THE PAPER THIS MORNING, I AM GREETED WITH AN AD THAT SAYS 94% OF WOMEN WANT TO MEET A "TRADIE". THIS IS A PERSON WHO IS A TRADESMAN. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT I SAY. MUSICIANS ARE TRADESMEN TOO., I GUESS. BUT THIS AD GOES ON; IT'S A COMPETITION, MEN CAN ENTER, THE PRIZE? A UTE..
A "UTE" FOR MY OVERSEAS READERS' BENEFIT, IS A UTILITY VEHICLE, A THING MANY AUSTRALIAN MALE FUCKWITS DRIVE. SO, NINETY FOUR PERCENT OF AUSTRALIAN WOMEN WANT TO MEET A FUCKWIT.